Ginger Millermon and her husband, Joel, were exhausted. They had watched, prayed, and waited for months on end as their infant twin son, Jarrott, fought for every breath.  His lips would turn blue, his tiny chest would cave in…at times, it was all just too much to take.  And now the doctors were about to come in and give them a prognosis. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Millermon,” they said, “there is nothing else we can do. You need to let him go. Take him off the respirator and say goodbye.  He will never have any quality of life. He will most likely have cerebral palsy—or worse-- even if he lives.  This will be easier on you both, in the long run.” 

Ginger had just one question.  “Does his brain show activity?” she whispered.  “Yes,” the doctors answered, “his brain activity is very high.”  That’s all Ginger and Joel needed to know.  “Then we’re not doing anything,” they said.  “We’re not going to cut God’s hand short.” 

Just over 10 years later, Ginger is putting the finishing touches on her new CD, AMAZED, produced and co-written by veteran songwriter/producer Paul Marino. The songs give voice to a journey that has been at times tumultuous; often exhausting; and incredibly humbling. From the soaring declaration of “Your Majesty Is Everywhere” to the bouncy “Find Forgiveness” to the simple “You Are Beautiful,” Ginger’s ten chaotic years of trying to be mother to three, and wondering if one will live, are poured out in every verse and melody.   

“The first four years of Jarrott's life were so touch-and-go,” Ginger recalls. “He didn’t even speak a word until he was nearly five.  There were times I would call 911 when he couldn’t breathe and I was so completely exhausted that I had no adrenalin left. I would just calmly and matter-of-factly give the operator details over the phone.  I’m sure the 911 operator thought I was abnormal.” 

These days, both Ginger and Jarrott breathe easier.  Her twin boys, born at 29 weeks, have both survived and are thriving young tweens.  Ginger is telling different stories about Jarrott lately – how he just made the honor roll; how he’s only a year behind his twin brother Brennan in school; and (gulp) how girls are starting to notice him. And also, how he doesn’t have CP – still much to his doctors’ amazement. But her family’s painful ordeal still resonates with people wherever she speaks or sings. And Ginger knows when she tells her story to women’s conferences and in concerts across the country that there are many people in the audience who didn’t get a “yes” answer from God, but instead got a “no.”

“In the midst of those worst moments, I admit I was hacked off at God,” she recalls.  “There were days when I didn’t want to read the Bible or pray anymore. What good was it doing? My precious baby was suffering. And all I could do was watch.  But I came to a place where I had to say to God, ‘Ok, if Romans 8:28 is true, and ALL things work together for good, then I’m going to trust you, God, regardless of the outcome. 

“My husband’s brother had twins after we did,” Ginger recalls. “And they also had problems. We prayed for a miracle in their lives, but one of the babies died after three months.   I look at their lives now and see that God was no less faithful in their circumstances than He was in ours.  He has used that pain in their lives to minister healing to other families.  God is still a God of hope, and He has a plan, even though it may not be what we desire.”